We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
