I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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