Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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