I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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