this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
