After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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