If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
