Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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