i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
