i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
