so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
two words...techno handjob
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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