so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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