fuck your aforementioned shoe
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize