Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
