People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize