The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
