Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
