Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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