It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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