Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
They are going to name an STD after you.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize