I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
