well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
