Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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