i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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