Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
