like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
