Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
