and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
