Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You're a waste of cheezeits
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
