I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
