I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize