Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
