you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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