last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
