i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
