I will die if light touches me.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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