when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She just used a chaser for red wine.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize