Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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