I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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