its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
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