if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
