forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
