Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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