I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
And then he peed in my hair
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