Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
