I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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