when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
