please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
