I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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