:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
