Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
