I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
