she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Randomize
