Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
