puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
