Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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