Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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