Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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