so that wasnt chicken after all
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
that's an acceptable place to lick
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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