So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
birth control should be required to get into college
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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