i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
